A two car high speed RTC had resulted in the usual smash up and mess.  But thankfully with very little injuries.  The perpetrators were drunk with the driver staggering forth from the wreckage claiming not to have been the driver.  Unfortunately, seeing as he did this in front of the police he was promptly “nicked” on the spot and hoicked away.

Pretty soon I had directed two ambulances (or palmed off . . . depending on your view) to deal with the injured – one from each vehicle.  The police had the entire area closed off and everything was going well . . . that is until were heard the rumble.

As one, everyone turned their heads to face up the road to see three London Fire Brigade trucks hurtling toward us.  Several officers shook their heads and cursed under their breaths.

“Uh oh . . . here comes the Borg”

With practiced precision the three Trumpton trucks split off – the first coming to halt and blocking one of the Ambulances.  The second stopping and blocking in me and a police car whilst the third just drove straight through the middle of the crime scene, over all the debris and parking at the far end blocking in everyone else.

There was much face palming.

Immediately, the Borg detached themselves from their trucks and swarmed the two smashed up cars, much to the dismay of both the police and the ambulance crews.  The air was thick with a testosterone fueled desire to tear something apart . . . or at least assimilate someone.

So, stepping back to attempt some paper work I viewed the chaos . . .

To my right and to my left the Police and LAS were struggling to fight off the persistent LFB onslaught.  The cries of anguish and despair from the allied forces were lost in the wake of the generic monotone voice of the LFB – “RESISTANCE IS FUTILE”.

In front of me, a White Hat was inevitably preparing to square up to some Police officials as they attempted, in vain, to make the LFB understand that they’d just driven through a crime scene.

Eventually – thank goodness – Trumpton left.  This time round they left empty handed and had not managed to tear anything apart.  The patients were transported to their prospective hospitals by LAS and the majority of the police had gone too.

I shook my head slowly.  If it wasn’t for the fact that this sort of thing happens more often than you realise, you would be easily forgiven for thinking it was the making of a comedy sketch.

Tucking my paperwork away and pressing Green Mobile on my MDT I drove off too . . . awaiting the next job and possible adventure . . . !

Binder